


Straight O's in Love

by shessocold



Series: I Told I'd Always Love You, I Always Did, I Always Will [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Ghosts, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hogwarts, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Polyjuice Potion, Short One Shot, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Teenagers, rs24hrchallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 10:45:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13409601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: It's hard to focus on your education when you're dating Sirius Black.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #5 is: A ghost story. 
> 
> Try and use at least a few (or more, or all haha) of the following objects/verbs/general words: armoire, dust, biscuit, quill, spiral, nest, prowl, oblivious, banister, shadow
> 
>  
> 
> The prompt is open to interpretation be it real ghosts or figurative ghosts, ghosts of the past etc. Wherever your creative heart takes you!

Once they start going out together, it becomes extremely difficult to focus properly on their schoolwork.

“Can I borrow your silver knife, Moony?” 

Remus makes the mistake of looking up from his uncharacteristically not terrible attempt at a Calming Draught. Sirius is smiling politely, the first three buttons of his shirt undone and his tie hanging so low that it would be less conspicuous if he wasn't wearing one at all. He winks at Remus. 

Remus turns away immediately. 

_Think of the Draught_ , he tells himself, sternly, gripping the tabletop with such force that his knuckles turn white. _You're almost done brewing it, and Merlin knows you could use a decent Potions grade. It's going to be lunch time after we're done here, and if you just wait..._

His hand shoots up almost against his own will. 

“Professor? May I please be excused?” 

“Mister Lupin? Are you unwell?” 

At any other time, Remus would find Slughorn’s faintly alarmed tone pretty hilarious – the man is scared stiff of the idea of lycanthropy, to the point that even after five years he seems to always be bracing himself for an impromptu mid-morning transformation on Remus' part. 

“Yes, Sir. I'm feeling a bit nauseous, I reckon I'd better head for the infirmary.” 

“Certainly, m'boy, certainly. And hurry up, I might add.” 

“I'll go with him.” 

“Yes, of course, Mister Black, thank you... splendid. Well, off you go, then, boys.” 

** 

“You have to _stop_ doing that.” 

Sirius laughs. 

“Stop doing _what_ , exactly?” 

“You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Sirius,” hisses Remus, shoving Sirius through a tapestry and into a nice deserted corridor. “With your shirt all unbuttoned like that and your winking at me over your cauldron.” 

“I've always worn my shirts like this!” 

“Yeah, but that was before I knew about the way you moan if I kiss you on your stupid chest,” says Remus, doing just that. Sirius makes a noise that makes Remus' cock twitch in his pants. “How am I supposed to focus on the process of adding Moonstone dust to my potion when you stand there and make it perfectly clear that we could be off snogging instead, huh? And don't get me started about the way you suck on your quill.” 

Sirius snorts. 

“Moony, it's honestly not my fault if your interest is so easily, er, aroused,” he says, grabbing Remus' erection through his trousers. Remus moans. Sirius grins. “OK, I'm lying, sometimes I do it on purpose – if only because watching you try and fail to act all oblivious is almost as much fun as actually–” 

Sirius trails off, his grin faltering, and Remus becomes suddenly aware of a shadow gliding ominously in the very corner of his vision. He swallows. 

“You saw that too, right?” 

Sirius nods. 

“It was just the Bloody Baron, nothing to worry about,” he says, but he makes no further attempts at groping Remus. “Say, shall we go down to lunch? I'm starving.” 

** 

A few days later, they're on the spiral staircase that leads to the Astronomy tower – snogging – when suddenly the Grey Lady glides by, giving them a supercilious look as they are forced to separate and stand dangerously close to the banister in order to let her pass. 

“What do ghosts care about what we do with our time?” mutters Sirius, once she is safely out of hearshot. “There was no need to give us that kind of look. I bet she's jealous.” 

“I doubt she is, Sirius,” says Remus, with a pang of guilt. “They're probably disapproving of the fact that we're out of bounds. She knows there's really no reason for us to be up here during the day, let alone doing what we were doing.” 

“Speaking of which,” says Sirius, with a smirk, and he gets back to it. 

** 

“Sirius, I _have_ to go, it's our turn to patrol the hallways tonight – if I'm late again, Evans is going to jinx me into a jelly.” 

Sirius grins. 

“Say, how about we give James some Polyjuice Potion and turn him into you? That way _he_ can go spend the evening prowling the hallways and being all sycophantic with Evans, and _you_ can stay here and suck me off,” he says, wriggling his eyebrows. 

“I don't think we have any more Polyjuice– ” starts Remus, and then he catches himself. “I'm a prefect, Sirius, I can't just give up my duties completely to stay in bed with you all day – tempting at that sounds – wait, are those _biscuits?_ ” 

“Your favourite kind,” confirms Sirius, tilting the tin in Remus' direction. “Chocolate biscuits. Fresh from the kitchens – I know how much you enjoy them, so I had the house-elves bake them specially for you.” 

Remus closes his eyes for a second. 

“You know – come to think of it – I reckon we _do_ have a small flask of Polyjuice potion left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus ends up flunking Potions, yes.


	2. Chapter 2

“Are you two decent in there?”

“Not morally,” says Sirius. “But we're wearing pants, if that's what you're– ” 

James rips back the curtains. He still looks almost identical to Remus, except for the fact that his hair is starting to darken and lose its curl. He doesn't look particularly happy. 

“I have several questions that I want answered, while we're on the topic of your morality. Let's start with the most pressing – how come you're so chummy with Evans, Moony?” 

Sirius snorts. 

“Moony!” he says, in tones of mock outrage. “Am I not enough for you? Do I not keep you satifisfied? Should I just go and throw myself off the topmost tower?” 

Remus rolls his eyes. 

“We're not _chummy_ , we're civil to each other.” 

“She calls you 'Remus'!” accuses James, his eyes narrowed. 

“Yeah, I wonder why that could be – oh wait, maybe because that's my actual name? And she's polite enough to use it?” 

“She's never called me by my first name,” laments James, sounding miserable. 

“Nor me by mine,” says Sirius. “Actually she doesn't even call me by my last name – or at all – it's more of a non-verbal thing, she just _glares_ at me in this particular way and I– ” 

“Please tell me you haven't been calling her 'Evans', James.” 

“Well, I _did_ , at first – I had no idea you two were such good pals, you see. But she kept staring at me and asking if I was OK, so I eventually got the drift,” says James, in a tone that makes it very clear that he considers the exhange of pleasantries a severe betrayal on Remus' part. “She even wanted to know if you were all right after you ran out of Slughorn's class the other day.” 

“Honestly, the nerve of her,” says Remus. Sirius laughs. James glowers at them both. “And what did you tell her?” 

“I had no time to tell her anything, because right at that point Nearly Headless Nick turned up.” 

“Nick?” repeats Remus, baffled. 

“He wanted a word with you, he told me.” 

“About what?” 

“About the fact that you and Pads have been sucking face all over the castle, apparently.” 

Sirius is now laughing so hard that he's completely speechless, tears streaming from the corner of his eyes. Remus puts his hand over his eyes and shakes his head. 

“Why me?” he says, weakly. “Why not him?” 

“Because you're a prefect, Moony – that's what Nick told me, because I asked him, because I didn't much fancy the idea of standing there in front of Lily Evans and defending you two idiots' proclivity for public snogging – and also because he thinks dear Padfoot here is a lost cause and not worth lecturing, since he wouldn't listen anyway. Also the way you wear your tie is a disgrace to the school, Pads, apparently – I've been told to pass it on.” 

“Duly noted,” says Sirius, wiping the tears from his eyes. “But tell us more, what did Nick say exactly? Did he order Moony never to see me again?” he inquires, overcoming an additional burst of hilarity. “I think I would quite enjoy a forbidden romance, actually.” 

“The gist of it was that prefects are supposed to uphold the standards of decency and good behaviour, and that the other ghosts kept coming up to him and telling him they'd found you two with your hands down each other's pants, so he finally felt like he had to take the situation into his own hands.” 

“Funnily enough, that's exactly what I was telling Moony the last time the Grey Lady barged in on us.” 

James rolls his eyes. 

“Evans seemed to find the whole thing very amusing, too,” he says, glaring at Remus. “Are you in the habit of discussing your sexual life with her, I wonder? She didn't seem surprised or anything.” 

“By the fact that I'm dating Sirius, you mean? He put bloody _celebratory banners_ up in the common room when we started going out, for Merlin's sake. I'd assume _everyone_ knows.” 

“Oh,” says James, stumped. “Right. I forgot about that.” 

“Definitely my best work,” says Sirius, gazing dreamily into the distance. “I can make some for you too, Prongs, if you ever manage to get with her. I'm sure she'd love them.” 

“Just as long as she doesn't love _Moony_ ,” mutters James, darkly. 

Remus snorts. 

“Honestly, James.” 

“She touched my arm when we said goodbye.” 

“So?” 

“It almost looked as she was expecting a hug.” 

“Did it, now?” says Sirius, suddenly alert. “What does she want to hug my boyfriend for?” 

“You are both being ridiculous.” 

“I think she fancies you.” 

“She does _not_ fancy me, James. And girls like to hug their friends, they just do.” 

“No girl has ever hugged _me_ ,” says Sirius, stiffly. 

“That's because you act like an arse, so you have no girl friends. Same goes for you, James, by the way.” 

“I'm not particularly convinced,” says James. 

“Neither am I. I propose we give Evans a good hexing, to teach her to keep her hands to herself.” 

“Leave Evans out of this,” says James, hotly. “Moony has probably been leading her on.” 

“Yeah, I surely have,” says Remus. “Why, this whole getting with Sirius thing was nothing but a ruse to get girls interested. And look! It worked. They are touching my arm now, and calling me by my first name. Next thing you know, I'll have my own personal harem.” 

“You're not funny.” 

“I propose we give Moony a good hexing, to teach him not to toy with our feelings.” 

“Seconded.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boys are the worst <3
> 
> ("Not morally, but I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking" is probably one of my favourite jokes ever, and I wish I knew who to credit for it.)


End file.
